Saturday

Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library & Museum: Sneak Preview

Yes, the rumors are true. I just returned from the Sneak Preview opening of The Barrack Hussein Obama Presidential Library and Museum. I didn't know whether or not to post news about my recent escapade but with all the talk about Barack Obama's Presidential Library it occurred to me that my readers would appreciate a brief account of my trip, along with a few photographs (googtoons).
Surprise Invitation to attend the Sneak Preview of the Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library dedication ceremonies.
Not being a huge supporter of the president I was understandably taken aback to receive an invitation to the Sneak Preview opening of his presidential library. Regardless, I felt is was my duty to attend regardless of my sentiments of the Obama presidency.

Besides, who could turn down an all expense paid trip to Hawaii, as well as a round of golf with the president! Yes, I also received a personal note from the president himself asking if I had time "to play a round or two."

My first class seat included a beautifully handcrafted program of events (signed by the president), a pair of PJ's and slippers (worn by the president), a personal masseuse (used by the president), and an Obama-sized gift bag with all sorts of governmental entitlements (all paid by American citizens).
Getting some shut-eye on the flight over amid Obama's largess. 

While snuggling in a lavender "I Got You Covered" official Obama commemorative blanket, I took the time to read up on the new library. I learned that Obama's presidential library is the 14th of its kind, and that it is administered by the National Archives and Records Administration. The library is "located on the beautiful campus of University of Hawaii, allowing visitors, researchers, and historians to explore the history of the Obama Presidency while enjoying the familiar surroundings of Obama's birthplace."

Unfortunately, our flight was made much longer than anticipated when we discovered whilst airborne that the UH we were heading for was a satellite campus in Nairobi.

So much for packing my snorkel and fins.

Amazingly enough, I was greeted at the airport amid much fanfare and hoopla. After the ensuing festivities I was whisked away by private limousine to the dedication ceremony.
An AP photographer was on hand to capture Nairobi's greeting guests. Here I am arriving and leaving.  
Just shy of entering the University of Hawaii Nairobi campus, a large blue bus lurched in front of us, lost control, and came to a screeching halt just shy of the road berm. Steam was billowing from it's hood and the back left tire was hissing air. I motioned to my driver to stop and see if we might offer some assistance.

We quickly pulled over just across from the promenade parking. While waiting for my door to open I looked through the windshield and noticed all but two heads inside the dilapidated bus - a female behind the wheel and the backside of a conspicuously irate man descending the steps.
A snapshot I took of Pelosi and Reid in their dilapidated bus facing the
wrong direction. Banner on bus can be seen just before falling.

As I approached the run-down bus I could hear the older man, who was now clearly the baggage handler, complaining about gridlock and the Koch brothers. The driver too was babbling away - something about having to pass the limo in order to see who was inside it.

No sooner did I recognize their faces when my driver advised that we needed to get going as the ceremony was about to begin.

I was able to take a quick snapshot before the "Obama Supporters" banner plastered across the side gave up its last residue of adhesive and fell in a crumple atop the pavement.

I felt bad about leaving the two to fend for themselves, but I shouted something back to them that I felt confident they'd understand and would surely lift their spirits: "Have no fears, I had every intention of offering you help!"

Unfortunately, we arrived to the event ten minutes into the dedication ceremony. I was hurriedly escorted to my seat - front row center! After politely protesting that the name on the chair wasn't me, I abruptly shut my mouth (and snapped a photo) when I suddenly realized the origins of my invitation. It wasn't the first an inattentive staffer at the White House inadvertently confused my name and address with that of Michael Jordan's.

Origins of my invite quickly become apparent. 
I quickly looked about to see if anyone had noticed the embarrassing faux pas. You can imagine my shock when sitting directly behind me were the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Alan Keyes, et al. I took a sigh of relief - I was among friends.

Obviously, a White House staffer either had a morbid sensed of humor or Obama had an administrative turncoat in their midst. Most likely it was the latter.

It was then I noticed the rear of the venue where workers were busy removing dozens of rows of seats. We were later informed that extra seating was needed for the "massive overflow of guests outside the event." No, it didn't make sense to me either, but nor has anything else this administration has done over the past eight years.

Sharing the historic day with the President and Mrs. Obama were all living Presidents, their wives and the president's two remaining supporters, Pelosi and Reid. Present on stage (standing from left to right, upstage) were President Jimmy Carter and Mrs. Rosalynn Carter, Vice President Joe Biden, President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, President George W. Bush and Mrs. Laura Bush, President George H.W. Bush and Mrs. Barbara Bush (sitting and holding an American flag).

Pelosi and Reid were hustled in and stationed downstage center at the end of a glistening red runner. I don't know if it was just me but they seemed to perch themselves like vultures. They flanked the presidential library seal like sentinels, scavenging the audience for whom they might pounce upon and eviscerate for no apparent reason. Bad habits are hard to break.
President inexplicably donned scrubs and stethoscope for his Presidential Library Sneak Preview. 
About twenty minutes into the ceremony, just as Obama was stammering through his 87th "uh," disaster struck! A strong wind suddenly swept across the stage, knocking the standing dignitaries and their wives off their feet! Only Michelle and Obama stood unscathed.

Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi hastily rushed to the aide of the fallen VIPs. However, when not a single luminary recovered from their ungracious face-plants, we all stood to get a better look. We were puzzled to see their backsides glistening white and flat. Harry and Nancy then gathered up and repositioned every dignitary, which we realized to our astonishment we're nothing but life-size cutouts!

Were this not bizarre enough, no sooner had Harry and Nancy tidied the cardboard figures when Obama leaned over to steady Michelle only to have yet another brisk wind rip her from his grip and sweep her away. Simultaneously a large section of Hillary tore away from it's base, in the shape of a broom, which then joined Michelle in mid air. The united ladies rose in a swirl and floating briefly overhead. They then slowly disappeared over the curtain backdrop as the howling wind writhed into an eerie cackle.
I was able to capture eerie scene of Michelle and Hillary flying out of sight.

The entire scene was the most surreal sight I've ever seen. Even more strange was that none of us could help but wave goodbye.

After the applause died down, Obama deftly recovered from the disaster by wowing the crowd with theatrical star power. One moment the stage was enveloped in light and smoke, and the next, every star from Opera to Clooney illuminated the platform.

At the fore of the stage, with guitar in hand, appeared Obama's tour de force, Bruce Springsteen. The crowd went wild. However, that too turned sour when Bruce failed to take into account his audience and began singing Born in the U.S.A. 

As dirt and wind began to gust again we instantly detected that The Boss too was one-dimensional cardboard, as were all of Hollywood's elite. Pelosi and Reid jumped upon the now tattered rocker and unceremoniously dragged him away, tossing him atop the pile of presidents, their wives and the toppled celebrities.

With Pelosi and Reid being the only actual carbon-based guests left standing, Obama announced he suddenly remembered a 2:00 tee time with Michael Jordan, excused himself and made a hasty retreat.

The entire ceremony and exhibition tour was scheduled for five hours, but with only a single achievement to commemorate, it was possible to experience the entire library in a matter of seconds. The dignitaries, guests and secret service packed things up and departed before lunch. I lagged behind momentarily and had the library to myself.
Sneak Preview of The Barack Hussein Obama Presidential Library and Museum. Here's a "selfie" of
me in the back corner of Obama's Presidential Library reading Exhibit #440, "First Black President."
For me, the most remarkable aspect of the museum was the Presidential Seal at the entrance of the "Gallery of Achievements." The seal had a soft vibrating hum from a recording of adulating crowds and it glowed around it's circumference. If you bent over and listened carefully you could also hear what appeared to be the rising oceans lapping against the shore.

I appreciated the self-deprecating humor (intended or otherwise).

Glowing, Vibrating Presidential Seal with echoing sounds of
adulating crowds and lapping oceans. 
When one reporter asked the museum's curator, Hugh Janis, how the library came to be, long before before President Obama's departure. He stated, "Considering it's traditional for presidential library dedication ceremonies to occur after presidents have left office, Barack Obama could now declare, honestly, that he'd actually done something that was truly unprecedented."

"Also, as a lame duck with abysmal polling numbers, the president has, for all intents and purposes, accomplished everything he will be remembered for. With no other achievements to speak of, President Obama's supporters decided it was prudent to make the most of his legacy before his only real triumph was also proven a lie as everything else."

Made perfect sense to me - period.

Mark
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