Thursday

The "Soup Nazi" of Search Engines • Part 2 of 3

NEWS FLASH: You'll never guess what just happened to me as I was writing this blog post. I received a notice from Google stating that they terminated my AdSense Account!! If you don't know what this is, it's how I earn pennies/dollars a day from all you wonderful souls who click the ads next to my blog posts. Yes, each time you click one of those little ads, I get paid a few pennies. Understandably, it adds up! [Notice that ads no longer exist on my blog.]

Well, I've actually never been paid a penny, yet. It's because my total paltry earnings have never reached the established threshold for Google to mail me a check - but at long last I was catching on to blogging, and getting close to receiving my first pay check. However now it's all gone - every single penny over the last five years! Why? Read on.

Google smelled something fishy and determined I was cheating. Why? There was a precipitous increase in ad clickings. So much so that I had mentioned to my friends, in utter amazement, how much more I had earned in just one day. In fact, I profited as much on the night of the Academy Awards as I had obtained in the five years prior. In one night!! Thank you! I can also understand Google's concern. 

However, did Google call, write or contact me in any way to find out what might be causing the spike in ad clicks? Okay, now that you've all had a good laugh - come on now, really, it wasn't that funny. Alright then, I'll give you a few more moments to collect yourself.

Let me ask you - what do you think was the cause of the sudden rise in ad clicks? Yes, that's right, the two blog articles I posted on the night of the Oscars. Both were hyper relevant to the Randy Newman's Oscar win, and my review of The King's Speech, which took home best picture. You figured this out easily. But Google? 

The company with the biggest and brightest brains - do you think they would have made accommodations for such rationale and plausible occurrences? No, it appears their programing does not take into account the relevance quotient to current events. Rather than allowing for some sort of initial buffer in their decision process, before cutting off one's legitimate right to their earnings, they terminate one's account and forward a notice. 

No-AdSense-for-you!

Obviously, I am not surprised - nor are you. It only supports my contention of Google as a dispassionate monstrosity of biblical proportions. Possibly worse.
Tomorrow - Part 3 of 3:
(or return to Part 1)

I had once reasoned that "Google" was short for Go Ogle, i.e a creative way of demanding that we all go surf-the-net. But now, after years of experience, I believe they must have borrowed from the Australian vernacular, goog, which is an... 

Mark Jordan
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