The Perfect Professional Headshot

The Perfect Professional Headshot 

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Mark

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Creation Explained - Like You've Never Heard Before

Creation Explained - Like You've Never Heard Before

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WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING

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CREATION EXPLAINED: Like You've Never Heard Before

CREATION EXPLAINED: IN THE BEGINNING... God Created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with cauliflower, broccoli, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, ensuring that
Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

CREATION EXPLAINED: Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream,
and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan whispered, “Want chocolate with that?" And Man said “Yes!”
And Woman said, “As long as you are at it, add Sprinkles.”
And they gained 10 pounds.Satan smiled.

CREATION EXPLAINED: And God Created the healthful Yogurt that Woman might keep the Figure that Man
found so fair. And Satan brought forth White Flour from the Wheat, and Sugar from the Cane, and combined them.
And Woman expanded from Size 6 to Size 14.

CREATION EXPLAINED: So God said, "Try my fresh Green Salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, butter croutons and garlic toast...
And Man unfastened his belt following the repast.

CREATION EXPLAINED: God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil, which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish, hamburgers, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed it’s own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

CREATION EXPLAINED: God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is Good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

CREATION EXPLAINED: God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with remote control so Man would not toil in changing channels.
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

CREATION EXPLAINED: Then God brought forth the Potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them.
Man gained pounds.

CREATION EXPLAINED: God then gave Man lean beef to consume fewer calories yet still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald’s and the $.99 Double Cheeseburger. Then said, “Want fries with that?”
And Man said, “Yes, super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.”
And Man went into Cardiac Arrest.

CREATION EXPLAINED: God sighed and created Quadruple Bypass Surgery.

CREATION EXPLAINED: Then  Satan Created the Obama Health Care System (Obamaburg).
Amen

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IN THE BEGINNING... God Created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with cauliflower, broccoli, spinach, and green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, ensuring that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

THREE. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan whispered, “Want chocolate with that?” And Man said “Yes!” And Woman said, “As long as you are at it, add Sprinkles.” And they gained ten pounds. Satan smiled.

FOUR. And God Created the healthful Yogurt that Woman might keep the Figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth White Flour from the Wheat, and Sugar from the Cane, and combined them. And Woman expanded from Size 6 to Size 14.

FIVE. So God said, "Try my fresh Green Salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, butter croutons and garlic toast... And Man unfastened his belt following the repast.

SIX. God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil, which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish, hamburgers, and chicken-fried steak so big it needed it’s own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

SEVEN. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is Good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

EIGHT. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with remote control so Man would not toil in changing channels. Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

NINE. Then God brought forth the Potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fried them. Man gained pounds.

TEN. God then gave Man lean beef to consume fewer calories yet still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and the $.99 Double Cheeseburger. Then said, “Want fries with that?” And Man said, “Yes, super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into Cardiac Arrest.

ELEVEN. God sighed and created Quadruple Bypass Surgery.

TWELVE. Then  Satan Created the Obama Health Care System. Amen

P.S. There's only one thing we can say as we watch the Obamaburg come crashing to the ground, "Oh the humanity!"

Mark

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TOP 10 Reasons Why Dog Owners Pickup After Their Dogs but Horse Owners Do Not

A Facebook friend posted a question which was posed by her child who wanted to know why "dog owners have to pickup after their dogs but horse owners don't have to pickup after their horses." It got me thinking, which, in my case, can be a dangerous exercise. Regardless, following is how I spent my precious morning while riding my elliptical bike.

TOP 10 Reasons Why Dog Owners Pickup After Their Dogs but Horse Owners Do Not

TOP 10 Reasons Why Dog Owners Pickup After Their Dogs but Horse Owners Do Not

10. While horse piles are conspicuous and easily avoidable, canine excrement is imbued with stealth properties, including a special magnetic attraction to the soles of shoes and bare feet.

9. Doggies are forever running ahead of their owners, making their business as plain as day. Horse owners, however, riding atop, are facing the wrong direction and are invariably unaware of the performance orchestrated behind them.

8. Volumes have been written on the beneficial uses of Horse Manure. They boast of a rich heritage of compost, of rose and vegetable gardens - a nuanced milieu of the "organic," elevating its stature to celestial heights. However, when it comes to dog poo, it's nothing but shite.

7. Should you inadvertently get in the way of your dog doing its business, neither its poo or pee will do harm. Misstep with your horse and you'd wish you brought a raincoat and umbrella.

6. It's nothing to toss a couple doggie-bags in one's pocket for late afternoon stroll with one's pooch, but neither teenager or grannie alike have an appetite for trudging around the block with a shovel and bucket in tow, let alone a stout rucksack, and in many cases a forklift.

5. Dog owners seen picking up after their dogs are admired and elevated to sainthood. Who picks up horse sh*t? The dregs of society.

4. While horse manure cigarettes are common and have been around for centuries, not only can dog poop cause blindness, I don't see a day anytime soon where Great Dane poop sticks are mainstream. Talk about the detriments of secondhand smoke...

3. Since dog's leave their packages on sidewalks, and horses drop on roads, the leisurely stroller or focused runner are not served by the distraction of having to dart about, but it does afford the motorcyclist a favorable whack at bettering their split-second reaction times, especially navigating corners.

2. When's the last time you've seen either your local grocery store or park offer Horsie Bags?

1. And the Number One reason why dog owners pickup after the dogs but horse owners do not:  

Simply drive along any county road and you'll see yard signs declaring "Horse Manure For Sale!" I don't recall anyone ever trying to sell me Dog Poo, that is until the launch of Obamacare.

Mark

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Inequality For All - A Review Lite

As has become the norm with the contemporary "documentary," Inequality For All abandons the standard impartial-arbiter method of documentary film-making and embraces the lone perspective of a political operative. In other words, impartial, inquisitive minds need not apply - not when opposing perspectives are suppressed and where the narrative is designed solely for the goose-bump crowd and low-information-voter.

That being said, Inequality For All, is an informative, engaging film, which will prove to be a special delight for those who have already drunk the Kool-aid.

The presenter of Inequality For All is American economist, professor, and Secretary of Labor for the Clinton Administration, Robert Reich. Reich is an affable man whom I would have, in my college days, gone to great lengths to enroll in any of his classes. He's the most compelling component of the film and makes even the most flimsy accounts feel substantive.

Robert Reich, in "Inequality For All," asks, "What nation does it better?" The answer, "United States." 

Inequality For All, via Reich, poses a simple question: What is a good society and what role does the widening income gap play in the deterioration of the nation's economic health? It's a sound premise but execution was tendentious, at best.

Indications of Reich's lopsided exposé is the unfathomable omission of China/WTO, NAFTA and TTP (Trans Pacific Partnership). All of which have adversely affected the wage earning potential of the middle-class.

These exclusions are no small slight - some might say intentional… We're Reich to have touched upon them, the storyline would have inevitably taken a turn where more than a few fingers point back in his direction (i.e. Reich's previous boss, Clinton, initiated two of these trade "deals"). What do you think?

Reich points to technology and education as the primary culprits behind America's decline. I agree, they must be addressed. However, removing rust from but a few spokes of an enormous wheel out-of-whack and expecting polish to produce economic parity is anything but levelheaded. It's not only quixotic, it obscures legitimate concerns, depriving the crisis of substantive scrutiny and subsequent solutions.

Undeniably, the downward mobility of Americans is real and is getting worse. Though Inequality For All may serve to evoke sentimental appreciation for the plight of a diminishing class, its eloquent message is nonetheless a disproportional slice of a vast and expanding dilemma. In short, IFA emits steady heat but little light.

One of many Mad Men like charts examines widening income inequality in the United States.

For me, Reich falls short most by failing to arouse a sense of political boldness, daring his audience to look outside the comfort-zone of their dispositions. Even when Reich attempts to be bipartisan by incorporating a Republican Mormon family, we discover they are pro-union... In other words, Reich's reach is woefully short, neutralizing any substantial risk.

Considering that no concrete change will materialize (except possibly the extinction of America's middle-class) until an objective, nonpartisan analysis is put forth, one would think that for all Reich's economic bravado he would have strove to present an evenhanded, candid look. The tentacles eroding the financial foundation of America today is multifaceted, but Reich ignored them. He blew it. He squandered an opportunity to connect with all of America in favor of a hackneyed agenda. Too bad, Inequality For All had great potential.

Those who truly care for the poor and the economic state of affairs of ALL Americans would do best to seek, if not demand, a more studious and well-balanced examination of the many causes of disparity in America. Only then can efficacious solutions be initiated, achieving equality for all.

Anyone genuinely interested in learning more about the challenges of America's economy, I suggest passing on Inequality For All, and instead investing your time with Paul Craig Roberts. Few are more knowledgeable, articulate and discerning.

Mark

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Six - Number Enrolled in Obamacare on Day One.

Six - The number of people enrolled in Obamacare on Day One.

Day one of Obamacare, the magic number was Six.

That's right! This is total number people enrolled for Obamacare on Day One, according to Megyn Kelly on Fox news.

While refusing to reveal the enrollments numbers, the Obama administration has been boasting the number of visitors to the afflicted HealthCare.gov website was 4.7 million. Regardless, they have not released the actual number of enrollments.

But according to Fox News, as well as CBS, notes from a "war room" meeting the day after the Affordable Care Act launched on Oct. 1 say "six enrollments have occurred so far." By the end of Day 2, enrollments totaled nationwide had climbed to just 248.

According to a memo obtained by the Associated Press, the White House predicted that only 500,000 would sign up by the end of the month, which was considered by officials to be a "modest start" for the market.

FOX/CBS both report that the exchanges must enroll an average of 39,000 a day in order to meet the goal of seven million enrollments by March 1. No new numbers have been cited as to what that number would be, considering the abysmal enrollments numbers to date.

Health and Human Services head Kathleen Sebelius was asked several times during Wednesday's Congressional hearing for the number of enrollments into Obamacare. Sebelius stated that the enrollment data was unreliable and that it would not be available until mid-November:

"We do not have any reliable data around enrollment, which is why we haven’t given it to date," she said.

Computer engineers ( e.g. Google, Oracle) have been enlisted by the Obama administration to help fix the troubled healthcare website, which has been plagued with malfunctions from the start. Regardless Sebelius testifying on Wednesday that the site "has never crashed," Americans attempted to enroll were greeted with a message stating, "The system is down at the moment."

Mark

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Senior Portrait Session Gone Awry?

Why We Don't Turn Our Back On the Ocean... Regardless of What Your High School Senior Portrait Photographer Asks of You!

Sometimes the simple lessons of life are learned the hard way. How often have you heard the warning that you should never turn your back on the ocean? Evidently not often enough for this midwest high school senior. Then again, why should she? The last time I checked, there weren’t that many oceans in Minnesota…CLICK FOR FULL BLOG POST

High School Senior Coming Up For Air

Mark

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Heart - Stairway to Heaven Led Zeppelin - Kennedy Center Honors

Led Zeppelin, from left, keyboardist/bassist John Paul Jones, singer Robert Plant, guitarist Jimmy Page,
stand as the Star Spangled Banner is played during the Kennedy Center Honors Gala at the Kennedy
Center in Washington, Sunday, Dec. 2, 2012. (Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP)

Before I was "Mark Jordan Photography," I was in many a rock band. Any rock band at the time was not worth its salt if its repertoire did not include Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin. Our's certainly did, along with a few other Zeppelin hits. Thus is why, after seeing them being honored at the Kennedy Center, I had to post Heart's version of the rock classic.

After decades of horrendous renditions of Stairway to Heaven, finally one that is worthy of Zeppelin's venerated vintage tune. To be candid, I had grown so tired of Stairway I thought my days of ever volitionally playing, let alone bystander listening, were over for all eternity. However, when Nancy and Ann Wilson of Heart step out onto the stage in front the Kennedy audience and the honorees, Led Zeppelin, I had a sense that something extraordinary was about to happen.

If you have yet to take a listen, you're in for something very special. As much as I did not want to cry, I could not help myself. For me, it was that powerful. I'm sure in the mix was a bit nostalgia for my youth at play as well. Regardless, sit back and enjoy Stairway to Heaven as you've not heard it played before.



Oh, on a side note, following is what one commenter, Tim Gerwing or Vancouver, British Columbia, wrote in regards to how singers best express song vocally. I thought you'd find interesting:

"Singers take note: *this* is how you serve a song. Unlike so many modern singers, she doesn't demand that we see how emotional she is. She does not make the song the vehicle for her self-aggrandizement, but does exactly the opposite. Why do the tears flow? Because The Song is The Gift, and she is, in this moment, The Giver, not a taker. Bravo (more: 7/40 Emoting in music)

Amen brother.

Mark

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DIRTY LOOPS - Jaw Dropping Powerhouse

DIRTY LOOPS: Henrik Linder - Jonah Nilsson - Aaron Mellergardh

Dirty Loops is a Swedish powerhouse trio who had my jaw dropping and heart pounding from the first pop of Aaron's deep pocket snare and Henrik's melodic bass slap, to Jonah's mellifluous vocals and keyboard calisthenics. They're an explosive transfusion of jazz, funk, and pop, guaranteed to grapple your soul while eliciting serious face scrunching.

The last time I became so transfixed with a sound upon first hearing was Steely Dan's Aja - and that was way back in 1977! They have singlehandedly given me hope for the future generation of musicians and the music industry. Not to mention Jonah's voice rivals that of Stevie Wonder. Whaaaat?

While Dirty Loops is a cover band, transforming insipid pop tunes from Bieber and Spears to Gaga into fusion classics, they are currently sequestered in their studio, writing their debut album. Will they be ready for prime time? We'll soon hear.

Enough words, I want you to listen.

Enjoy!

Mark

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POSTSCRIPT: I appreciate the wonderful compliments for the Dirty Loop headshot portraits, however, neither did I, Mark Jordan Photography or Orange County Headshots create the headshots. I would have loved to photograph these guys, but it wasn't me. As finicky as I am, the headshots are not that bad at all. Though the diffusion is a little much for my tastes and would have preferred a more cutting edge interpretation (emblematic of their music), I like the expressions, positioning and feel. Nice work.  

Henrik Linder - Bass
Aaron Mellergardh - Drums
Jonah Nilsson: vocals, keyboards, songwriter, arranger, producing.

Three Quick Questions Regarding Three Obama Scandals

Unless you've been hibernating in a cave or are a card-carrying member of the Clueless Majority (i.e. the typical American), you most likely are aware of three current scandals rocking the Obama White House. Here's a quick reminder, just in case:

1. BENGHAZI
Cover-up of terrorist attacks in the Libyan town of Benghazi which left an America ambassador dead, as well as an officer/aide and two Navy SEALs.

2. IRS
Federal employees intentionally targeting conservative political groups.

3. DOJ
Attorney General, Eric Holder, personally sanctioning the secret appropriation of telephone records of journalists at the Associated Press (AP) news agency while hunting for the source of leaks about a failed al-Qaeda attack.

If you are having trouble remembering the three controversies, simply think BID - as in these scandals are fundamentally about the BIDDING of the Obama White House. 

THREE QUICK QUESTIONS Regarding Three Obama Scandals

1. Of the reported offenses, which has the potential for greater calamitous consequences?
a. Republican exploitation of Obama wrongdoing?
b. Obama White House overreach of unchecked power?

2. What is the focus of the Main Stream Media?
a. The possibility of Republican's taking political advantage?
b. Rigorous coverage of the three Obama White House Scandals?

3. Why is the Main Stream Media spinning the Three Obama Scandals into fear of Republican opportunism rather than the gravity of Democratic corruption?


Though I have my guesses, I would much more prefer to hear your point of view?

Mark

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A Fish Rots From the Head Down

What has been true with every corrupt administration is just as applicable with America's current gaggle of scoundrels. The president's cronies can wax on all they like as to what wrongdoing their Commander was totally unaware, what debacle he did not rubberstamp, or what low-rung employee they believe was fundamentally at fault, but they cannot escape the inevitable law of leadership; when an organization or state fails, it is the leader that is the root cause.

In regards to the current flood of scandals pressing in on the Obama White House...

1. Benghazi Cover-up
2. IRS targeting conservatives
3. Obama DOJ ordering phone taps on AP reporters

.... I've got only one thing to say: a fish rots from the head down.

A Fish Rots From the Head Down

Mark

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